Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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