But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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