my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
