It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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