You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize