I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Boobs are out for the taking
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
