yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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