You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Holy shit dude........stairs
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
