called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
