omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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