Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's blow job season.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
