what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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