I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
