I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize