PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So vagazzling was a success
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
