Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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