and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He? As in you personified your dick?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
