she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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