I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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