i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it hurts more in the daytime
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
