Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
