The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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