: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
