I cockslap morals
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
