I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
