Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize