You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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