Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
