White coat. Heels.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize