Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
