Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
