I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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