apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I could fuck to npr.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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