White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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