sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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