you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize