Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
