I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
