ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sober January is a disaster.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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