Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
