dude i'm inner monologue high
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You've changed since you got that strap on
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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