Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
