okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
