why didn't you poke me back
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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