booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i came on her dog
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
