I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is classic penis vs brain.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
