That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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