what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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