So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
