I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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