yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
