I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
