community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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