I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
