Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize