we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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