i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My pussy is not your playground.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
