I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My balls are so social today.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
