Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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