Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
