just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are the jesus of drinking
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
