Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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