Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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