We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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