It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Jerry, you need to find god
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
