For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
