..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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