I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
whose parrot is this?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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