I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
