Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize