hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
