and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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