I'm going to jail i love you
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize