whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
