real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize