he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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