Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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